I'm coming BACK, I want the world to know, I'm gonna... yada yada. :)

So for those of you who have actually come back during my uber-long hiatus to check to see if I've posted anything... thank you.

For those of you who haven't, you haven't missed anything.

Not since September 7.

But I am very excited to announce that my blog will be public again soon.  I just can't handle the whole private blog shtick. 

To be quite honest, the thing I love most about blogging is the 2-way dialog.  It's not the amount of comments... it's that I get to talk to people I now consider friends.  They hear/see/read my thoughts, and they share theirs.  I enjoy that, and I have missed it.

But, fortunately, the thing that was blocking me from blogging my little heart out shall end tomorrow.


I cannot wait.

And although I may never publicly share the full story, I'll probably share bits and pieces, here and there, over time.

So, be on the lookout.  I will be back to life within 2 weeks.

YAY!!

Retailers' worst nightmare.

I am a compulsive returner.  If that were a true mental condition, you could take my headshot and plop me next to the term in a medical dictionary.  Or urban dictionary.  Wikipedia?  You choose.

Example 1:  In June, I wanted nude pumps.  I searched and searched, searched some more.  When I decided I would never find the ones I wanted:  I ordered 3 pair from Piperlime and DSW so I could choose my favorites from the comfort of my dining room.  I kept 1, returned the others.

Example 2:  I will pay more for a shoe from Piperlime or Zappos than anywhere else because I can return them for free if they don't fit.  Or they're the wrong color.  Or I just freak out and decide I don't want them.

Example 3:  Tonight, I went to TJ Maxx in a rush.  I tried on 7 items.  I bought 4 of the 7, plus a pair of shoes... that I didn't try on? What?  Got them home, and I had Mr. Smith (who happens to double as a personal shopper by night) evaluate if they fit or if they were cute.  

     Jacket:  too big.  

     Shoes:  too small. (Someone tell me why I didn't see that they were a 6.5, not an 8?)

     Swimsuit:  I don't like it.  

     Shirt:  Currently hanging in the closet, but I might change my mind and return it.

     Dress:  Mr. Smith says it's cute.  I think it's too big.  I'm clearly on the fence.
So I might end up returning it all.

Oh, and example 4:  Ordered boots I LOVE from Piperlime.  They came in... and they're too big for my chicken legs, so as much as it saddens me, they're going back too.

I have shoes, a skirt, and some pants on their way from Piperlime/Gap for now... so cross your fingers!

Is this normal?  My Twitter friends are telling me yes, but Mr. Smith tells me retail workers probably cringe when they see me coming.  

(Okay, he's not that mean.  But that sounds way more interesting than what he actually says.)

Insomnia.

I stay up late watching TV in bed.  Playing Sodoku on my iPhone.  Tweeting.  But I'm pretty much asleep by 11-11:30 every night.

Mr. Smith stays up late watching TV as well, but he's downstairs on the couch.  Or he's playing XBox.  Oftentimes, he falls asleep on the couch.  Sometimes he wakes up around midnight and comes to bed.  Sometimes it's closer to 2am.  On a rare occasion, he doesn't wake up till the next morning. 

Last night was one of those fall-asleep-on-the-couch nights.  Except this time, I woke up at 3am.  And I decided he needed to be woken up.  Because I was now wide awake.

I found the poor man asleep, sitting straight up.  Lights on.  Glasses on.  XBox controller in hand.

So then he comes to bed.  And is ready to tell me stories about his workday.  He didn't tell these to me when we were talking on the couch about 6 hours prior, but he told me several stories at 3am.  I won't lie:  it was kind of funny hearing half-awake stories about his workday.

And then I was up.  UP!  I could not sleep.  I was fidgety.  I was watching infomercials about airbrush makeup.  Reading tweets.  Playing sodoku.  Worrying about work.  It was a nightmare.  

I fell back asleep around 4am.

After pulling myself out of bed by 7 and getting myself presentable in an alarmingly quick timeframe - I then spilled coffee in my purse, dropped my house key under the car seat, and left the house with Mr. Smith's keys in my purse.

Luckily, the day got a wee better for both of us in a few ways (one of which being Mexican food for dinner!), but holy heavens this day had a rocky (and humorous) start!!