Au Revoir.

This should hardly come as a surprise to the few of you who still read this since I have posted approximately once per (every other) month, if that, for the last year (or two). So unsurprising, in fact, that I could easily just forgo this step and walk away with no warning, but I would argue that a book is often defined by its final chapter. And so, here it is.

This little blog o' mine has met its final days.

I've struggled with what to write about, with my voice, with exposure (that one haunts)... and with the fact that I have changed since I started this blog more than four years ago as a very young girl planning her wedding on her future sister-in-law's couch. I'm not really that girl anymore, and continuing in this space that started out so differently just doesn't feel right. I love to write, but I need a different setting to feel inspired, authentic, reflective... or maybe silly... I don't know what I'll choose, but I find some peace in knowing I don't have to make that choice today.

So for a few days, I'll let this sit so you can find it in whatever reader you've chosen to replace Google. Then I'll make the blog private so I can come back to it when I feel nostalgic... but it will be mine to remember.

I'm still on Twitter and Instagram. (@mrssmith909)
My lovely, amazing, beautiful friends that I've found through this blog know how to reach me - we text and gchat and phone and enjoy the sweet sounds of each other's laughter often. Truly: "I thank my God every time I remember you." (Phil. 1:3)
I write for work and I journal my Bible studies, so I'll continue to write.
Maybe someday I'll start a new blog that is me and mine and who I am. Maybe...

But for now, au revoir chers amis. J'ai vraiment aimé vous.

Worth it.

It's a good run when your view includes irises like these and the air smells of fresh-cut grass and spring grilling throughout the neighborhood.

It's a better run when you catch yourself singing along with Miranda Lambert (yeah, out loud...) while thinking that though there is definitely pain, the bad feelings are so much less bad than the good feelings are good.

Yes, my shins hurt. Definitely. But as I intently focus on placing my feet on the pavement just how my acupuncturist told me (slide your foot—don't lift it—and roll the foot from the heel to the toe), I think on that a little more.

Nothing in my life is perfect, and I would assume most would say the same. But there are some things, some wonderful things, that are much like my runs. The pain (or sadness or confusion or disappointment) is much less bad than the happiness (or joy or pride or adoration) is good. Oh, so good.

And worth the work, too. Because I'm a firm believer that nothing that's truly good in life comes easily. 

Which means that since I've put in that calorie-burning work, I'm off to ice my shins and enjoy some Annie's mac and cheese. (With kale chips! Quit your judging. Jeez.)

Inspiration.

Vincent Van Gogh. Everyone said to him, "You can't be a great painter, you only have one ear."

And you know what he said? "I can't hear you."

-Barry (Steve Carrell), Dinner for Schmucks

It's a good thing he couldn't. Think of all the beauty the world would be deprived of if he'd let anyone make him believe he could do any less than what he knew he could do.

Be beautifully flawed and imperfectly perfect... you.

New Job.

It's the start of my second week at New Job. I like it. My boss is great, and the company continues to impress me with special programs and perks only a company of this size could offer.

 

There's a gym in the building which really plays well into my skinny(ish)-with-the-least-amount-of-effort lifestyle.

 

Also, they didn't fire me when I asked the HR person on the second day what would happen to me if I used legal drugs in Colorado then came back to Tennessee to a random drug test.

(Disclaimer/a note to my mother: Never have, never will. I just ask lots of questions sometimes.)

 

Whenever I mention things I want or need, they seem to magically appear. In previous companies, I've had to beg, borrow and steal for a decent stapler, and I've used laptops so slow I could teach myself new ways to braid my hair using my phone's Pinterest app while it got started for the day. I ramble, but today I hooked up a third keyboard because the last two didn't suit my needs, and I'm sitting in my third desk chair at my second desk. On day six. They're really working to make me comfortable and happy (without pointing out how profoundly annoying I am...) and everybody knows a happy employee is a hard-working employee.

 

And even though New Job is very Business casual (capital B and lowercase c were intentional for proper emphasis), I got to wear jeans today so I could move all the things from my old desk to my new desk comfortably. Truth be told, they probably wanted to avoid being flashed since I wear mostly skirts, but I appreciate the leniency regardless of intent because I've been wanting to wear this outfit for weeks.
 

Happy Monday friends!